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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Relationship Help's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 18th, 2017
11:32 am
[actorgrl04]
husband might be laid off, need advise
Hi,

This isn't a real relationship question, but has to do with my husband, so hopefully someone can help.

Here's the story:
My husbands job has been pretty shitty lately. There is a lot of childish stuff going on and he works so hard and isn't very appreciated. The business is also probably going to go bankrupt or something, so everything is just going horribly.
Anyway, the other day his boss pulled him aside and kind of gave him a heads up that if one of either of the other co-workers gets the job, they will have to start laying someone off and he might be one of them. This really sucks because he works so hard and it's all based on what some people above him, who actually don't like him for whatever reason, had to say. His boss went to them to get feedback on how my husband is doing, not to his immediate supervisor.
This is a huge problem because there aren't any jobs in the cytotechnology field around here(Madison, wi), so his only options are getting a job that pays less than what he makes now or going back to school, which means more debt but a better paying job in the future.
Not only does this put us in a bit of a pickle but definitely doesn't help his self esteem. He feels pretty low, and no matter what I say to help him feel better, he still feels pretty low. He thinks he's such a disappointment to me, when he isn't. He knows that I want a house and he feels he can't provide that to us, which I know in time we will get one.
I know it's impossible to really know what to do unless you are in that field, just wish I knew what to say to help him. I have told him that he should start looking into either another job or school now, so if he does get laid off, he will at least have a backup plan. He says he will do it, but sometimes I think he won't because he feels so low about everything.

I guess I am just asking if anyone has been in similar situations? What more can I do? Help?

Thanks!
Saturday, March 4th, 2017
10:06 am
[belfiore720]
Losing My New Family
Once upon a time my fiance & I were in love, now I'm not sure. Once we got pregnant it seemed like everything changed. His mother who was living with him at the time hated my guts, tried to break us up & even tried to get me to have an abortion. I guess you could say that my fiance was a mama's boy because he always ended up taking her side whenever it came to the matter of her moving out of our one bedroom apartment, until one day she out her hands on me (while pregnant) & I finally called the cops. After that everything had seemed to be a struggle, whether it was coming from an outside force or grew on its own. He always seems to be angry or have an attitude & his desire to marry me is lost & I feel that way because he no longer talks about it like he use too. We were suppose to get married & had a date set over 4 times now & each time he's failed to follow through & be involved in Any way shape or form. It hurts & what hurts even more is we have a daughter together so splitting almost seems impossible for 1 & 2 I don't want to out my daughter through that. I try to talk to him but it always seems to go in one ear & out the next. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at a loss & need some help.

Current Mood: depressed
Friday, April 5th, 2013
1:01 am
[ext_1738740]
Why are you here? - Toxic Teen Relationships
There are times in every teens life where they run into at least 1 toxic relationship. You meet someone and in the beginning the relationship is great! Then at some point the relationship changes, you begin being ridiculed about anything you do. Or your "friend" wants to do something illegal such as stealing money from another teen.

These relationships are defined as toxic due to their nature to degrade you overtime.

So, how do you prevent or stop this type of relationship?

Here's 5 quick tips on preventing/awareness of toxic relationships.

1. Dependent - You find yourself being pressured to spend all of your time with this "friend" or feeling as if you can't do anything without them. WARNING This is toxic!

Solution - Spend time doing things you like alone. Be in control of the time you spend with your friend and if they are unable to understand this, then question if this person is a true friend.

2. Low Self Esteem - Your friend constantly disgraces and discredits you with no constructive criticism. WARNING This is toxic!

Solution - A good friend is an esteem booster and provides constructive criticism. A good friend is truly concerned about your happiness and health.

3. Frequent Arguments - Always fighting verbally or physically with your friend is a clear sign of a toxic relationship.

Solution - Attempt to come to a mutual agreement. If an agreement can't be reached, politely end the friendship.

4. Returning - You cut off a friendship because it was unhealthy and then turned around to go back. We've all been in this situation before and it's a bad sign. WARNING This is toxic.

Solution - When you move on from a relationship, make sure you completely move on and do not look back. In life, you must seek to progress and not digress. Always go forward.

5. Over Protective - Your friend tries to protect you from anything they believe is harmful. While this can appear to be a good thing, it is very toxic. This is the sign of an immensely controlling person who does not like to be disobeyed.

Solution - End this relationship immediately. Over Protective friends have a one track mind and they do not have any plans of compromising.

For more information click here
Sunday, September 14th, 2014
4:18 pm
[purebenefit]
post
Originally posted by purebenefit at post
Talks from this brilliant woman Candice have really helped me deal with difficult emotions and circumstances.

"Nothing can make us feel negative, we choose whether we feel negativity."

Friday, August 1st, 2014
11:15 pm
[ext_2705653]
Nostalgia
Nostalgia- another coin with two sides. It makes you question why those moments were so memorable in the first place. I just can't stop missing this girl.
9:59 pm
[ext_2705653]
Mid sems approaching
I haven't been this distracted before a mid semester before. Maybe I was last semester but this is something else. I think I'm gonna be on the Xbox all day long once the exams get over. I've ordered Watch Dogs and Assassin's Creed IV. My best friend, Karthik's birthday is coming up on 9th August but it's supposed to be a secret. I don't get the latest trend of not celebrating birthdays. Anyway I hope both of us can hang out some place after our last exam ends on the same day as his birthday...

You might be wondering what this post has to do with relationships. It doesn't and it's just my first post here. My future posts will be better, hopefully.

And just FYI I'm not gay or anything. Just had my heart broken by the girl I am in love with.
Sunday, July 27th, 2014
2:04 am
[sextangles]
I really messed up
 All my life I have been a pretty reckless and impulsive person when it comes to the choices I’ve made but since I had my son last October I have been trying to break that habit and think before I act and do what’s best for my son. The first thing I did after deciding to make this change was leave my boyfriend, move home and tell my ex that I had his baby. (see my journal for details)

Despite all the drama from our past he just dropped it and said he forgave me for everything I did and he was going to help me raise our son. He has been spending so much time at my apartment helping me out and he has even paid half my rent on more than one occasion. We are getting on better than we ever even did when we were a couple. We don’t bicker, we don’t get at each other, we just have each other’s backs. If I’m not feeling great then he’s there bathing the baby and cooking me dinner and cheering me up. It’s great. It’s exactly what I would’ve hoped would happen. Except for one thing. We have been hooking up like crazy. And that has been better than when we were a couple too, let me tell you. It’s so hot.

I knew that I still had feelings for this boy when I made the decision to reconnect with him. I knew it absolutely had the potential to end up like this but I thought that the new me would handle it maturely and know that getting back involved with him would not be the best decision for my son. But here I am and I don’t know how to stop. I am definitely crushing so hard on him again – whatever sparks went out are absolutely relit now. I’m having gooey thoughts about how we could be and thinking about our past with hearts in my eyes like none of it was painful or messed up or ridiculous. My question is, how can I stop hooking up with him? How can I hit the brakes on this before I completely mess up the good thing we have going on for the sake of our son? We are so young (he's almost 23, I turned 23 in April) and we did not have a stable relationship before we split up and there's just so much potential for this to end in complete disaster.
Monday, May 12th, 2014
8:45 pm
[capn_flapjack]
My boyfriend has an opportunity to apply to a job in Minnesota, where he's from. We currently live together in Massachusetts, where I've lived my whole life. Although I've always thought of moving somewhere else, I'm not ready to move somewhere that far away yet. I currently have a possible job opportunity in Boston I've been wanting for awhile, I like the job I have now, I've just within the past year developed a great group of friends, and I've recently been establishing myself as a local artist. These are all things I'm not ready to give up; I don't want to start over from square one when I've pretty much just started feeling successful.

He's not pressuring me or anything, he's already said he'd rather stay here with me, but now I feel like he's limiting himself because of me. Even though he says I'm not, I feel like I'm being selfish. I didn't ask him to stay here, but I did say that it was asking a lot of me right now to move that far. Am I being ridiculous right now? I've wanted to be an artist my whole life, and now that I'm finally getting a bit of a following here, I'm scared I'll lose this chance if I move somewhere else. Am I being selfish?

For the record, I absolutely did not tell him he couldn't apply for the job. I didn't know what to say so I just asked him what he wanted to do, and he said he didn't want to leave me, and that's when I said asking me to move would be asking a lot right now. We've only been together for just under a year which is also adding to my reluctance to move somewhere that far. Even though I love him, and I know he loves me, I'm just scared that if for some reason something happened, I wouldn't have a support system in MN like I do here. Anyone been in this situation?
Friday, April 25th, 2014
11:38 pm
[actorgrl04]
the talk about wanting kids-advice please?!
I've been a part of this community for a long time and really haven't had the need or time to really read or post anything, but here I am with a question.

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 2 years, we are pretty serious. We've talked about marriage, looked at rings, and plan on getting married sometime after I finish school in a year. We have a very wonderful relationship, where we are very open with each other and seem to be comfortable enough to talk to each other about anything. Any problems we have came across has always been worked out. We agree on most big topics, religion, politics, money, ect. We're so in love with each other and happy. One little road bump we have come across is the issue of having children. At this point right now, I do not want kids until I am done with school and have a steady job and of course when we are married. I am also trying to figure out how badly I want kids. It's always hard to tell the reasons why you want something when there is so much pressure out there, seeing friends get married and have kids, my mom always bringing it up, and just my age.
He on the other hand is not so sure if he want's kids. We haven't really seriously talked about it besides him making comments about it when we come across an annoying child in public. What I have gotten from him so far as to why he doesn't is that he feels he wont be a good father(not sure why he thinks that, I have seen him around my little cousins and friends nieces and he's great!). Then sometimes he comments that he thinks all kids are annoying, which I think he bases that on the kids he has seen. Which I understand to a certain extent, at times that can drive me away from wanting kids too, but I know it will be different.
Another issue with that is that he is thinking of going back to school to be a Patholigist Assistant. So, I will be the one mainly supporting us, which is fine with me. I know how tight money is when you are in school. I totally support this decision and would not keep him back from going at all, but if we did decide to have children, I'd be afraid to have them when he's in school, because how tight money is.
I'm in no hurry to have kids, but know that I am also not getting any younger(going to be 30 in June). He's 2 years younger than me, so I understand that maybe he just feels too young. I also understand that he wants to kind of have our own adventures first as well, which i agree. In all, I am getting the feeling he's just not ready for that and i definitely don't want to push him either. I don't want this to be something that would break us, because we are so good together. I believe that we can talk this through and figure it all out, I just am not sure how.
So, there are a lot of things that come into this decision and how to talk about it.

So, my question is after all of this, how do you talk about this fairly? Has anyone else had this issue and how did you work it out? What is a good way to approach this so we are both fair to each other? How the heck can you explain to your SO that not all kids are like the ones he either sees on TV or in public? Any advice at all what to do?

Thanks bunch!
Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
9:58 pm
[actorgrl04]
Long distances..ehh
Hi all,

I posted months ago( probably way back before the summer started) about my boyfriend and him applying fora. Job and long distance relationships.
Well, I'm back to update and asking for advice/ or just venting my frustration.
This whole process of him applying and interviews really took forever and it didn't lead to a good result.
He applied for a job here in Madison almost a year ago, after months of waiting and two interviews, he got the bad news that he didn't get it. We are both pretty upset about this because everything was pointing in the direction of him getting it. We had planned to find a place in town and move in together as soon as he got this job. So many things depended on this, mainly taking this next big step I our relationship(been together for over as year now) and getting engaged too.
But now we are back to square one, he lives 2 1/2 hours away, and I can't really move because I'm going to school here. He really wants to move here, but jobs in his field are hard to find( cytotechnology). It's really discouraging.

I've been wracking my brain on what to do. Besides looking for jobs, having my dad who knows some people put the word out, I can't really think of anything else besides have him move here and look.
I mentioned he can stay with me at my parents to save money as he looked, but he doesn't want to move with out something, which is understandable.
I can maybe afford to support him while he looked, though not sure how he feels about that. I know that can be a stress for people.
He did mention something about if I did work full time then maybe he'd be able to move in. I work part time. But I have a lot of money saved up.

Ok, onto the actual problem and worries.
He's really down right now, and I feel any suggestion I have doesn't help. I know that it's all still kind of new for him to deal with, so he might not be in the right mind to listen. But I'm trying to help, trying to be the logical one and start brain storming ideas of where to look and what to do. I really want something good to come of this soon and him to move here, but I just feel like we are stuck. Any suggestions on how to make things better with out being too pushy?

My other worry is this whole engagement thing. If all went well, we would probably be engaged this fall. He has the money put aside for it, all he was waiting for was the move. Now that we don't have that I have no idea what his plan is. Is he going to wait until he can move( who knows how long) to propose? After awhile will he just give up on waiting and just propose anyways? It's driving me nuts not knowing! If he doesn't get a job here, we'll have to wait two year( when I graduate),which is long I think! I'd feel bad bringing this up to him, but I'm curious if he's thought about it at all. I just don't want to sound selfish, but this was something we talked about for a long time.

Honestly I just feel so hopeless! We were moving forward and now have been set back quite a ways! Any good advice on what to do, what to say in these situations! Thanks!
Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
7:14 pm
[soccerjo9]
(Unhappy Happiness) Mr Gorgeous
I have a lot of craziness going on in my life. I figured writing them down and sharing it to the world would be a good idea to get different opinions and views from people I don't know (that way there are no bias decisions). I thought I'd start from the beginning to get a better understanding of my life.

Winter 2006 - Boy meets Girl
It was always the four of us; Jessie, Dana, Rachel and me. I've never had many girlfriends. I always thought girls are too high maintenance and selfish. We were close - we even gave each other titles. Jessie was the drama queen - always so dramatic and was big into school plays; Dana was the party animal - she had connections with the whole world I swear - she knew who was having a party and where there would be one; Rachel was the wild one - if we tell her to do something, she would most definitely do it; and I was the innocent one - I was the last to turn 21, never smoked or done drugs, and never had a one-night-stand. I may have A LOT of guy-friends, but I have never kissed any of them. They all viewed me as "one of the guys."

Anyways, back to my friends and I. We would go out to bars and dance clubs together almost every weekend. I've met a lot of guys that my girlfriends would want me to date, but I didn't feel comfortable enough to actually go on a date with them.

There was one guy I've talked though online every once in a while that lived about 30 minutes away. His name is Kevin. He was super gorgeous. Tall, really muscular, shaggy blonde curly hair and from chatting online, seemed to have a great personality. He used to be a model for Abercrombie, but stopped because he got a few tattoos on his upper arms. And I guess the agency he worked for frowned-upon tattoos. We've never talked about actually meeting in person which didn't bother me.

On Halloween weekend, the girls and I went to the bars downtown (biggest hangout for college students). Our favorite bar was called Confetti's. It was basically a dance club. It was always crowded and the music bouncing. During one of our drinking break from dancing like crazy, I spotting a guy who I swore looked just like Kevin. He and his buddy were dressed up like snow boarders (Minus the snow suites). We must have stared at each other several times throughout the night. I never worked up the courage to say something to him that night.

Days later, I finally sent Kevin a message though his Myspace page (a social networking site before Facebook).
"Hey there, I gotta ask. I swore I saw you at one of the bars here in town and was wondering if I was just seeing a look-a-like."
Later on, I got a reply back
"Nope, you definitely saw me. I thought the same exact thing. I was too shy to talk to you. If I knew that it was you for sure, I definitely would have come and talked to you"
After that message I got all giddy. Something clicked in my mind and I wanted to actually meet up. So I sent a message back.
"The girls and I are planning on going out this weekend. Want to meet up at Confetti's? We're thinking around 9:30-10:00pm -ish"
Almost immediately, a respond.
"Sounds good to me. My buddy and I were planning on going out Saturday. I'll see you then."
I was so excited that I finally get to meet Kevin.

When the weekend finally came, Dana and I always go shopping to find a new outfit for that night. I’m not big on what’s hot as far as fashion goes. I’m a Plain Jane, as plain and boring as they get. Dana always knows what to buy. She chose this sequenced black tank top, with a gray cardigan, and a new pair of jeans to wear that night. I chose a plain blue v-neck, ¾ sleeve shirt, with a lace tank top to layer underneath and a new pair of jeans. Dana tried to get me to buy something more on the sexy side, but nothing she was showing me was appealing. After shopping, Dana and I met Meagan at Dana’s house to get ready.

We arrived downtown about little after 9pm. Downtown is the place where mostly college students go to party. There is about a two block radius filled with a mixture of bars; from sports bars to dance clubs. We like to go early to pay the five dollar cover charge at Confetti’s, which pays for a 12oz cup and all you can drink (mix drinks) until 11pm. After about an hour, the place started to get crowded and we decided to dance for a bit. I felt a poke on one of my shoulders and turned around. It was him! I got so excited I swore time sped up. I felt like I stared at him for minuets but it was only a split second.

I immediately gave him a tight hug, smiled and yelled over the music, “Nice to finally meet you!”
“Yes it is.” He replied back. He had the sweetest smile on his face.
“Want to go over to our table?” I asked. I couldn’t dance anymore. My legs were shaky from being so nervous.
“Sure.” Kevin and his buddy followed us over to our table that was located just outside of the dance floor. Walking over to our table was a challenge. I hope I didn’t look like a fool.
“So how do you guys know each other?” Asked Dana. Of course she has to know everything and anything about me. Kevin and I looked at each other. I know we met online, but that so cliché.
“Through a mutual friend.” He replied. I guess that wasn’t entirely a lie. We do have a friend in common, and she is only in one of my classes at the tech.
We’ve talked throughout the night and bar hopped to the bars that are playing good dancing music. We even exchanged phone numbers. At about midnight, Kevin and his buddy ended up meeting some of their friends at a different bar.

Later that week, Kevin sent me a message though my Myspace page.
Hey, had a great time chatting with you. Would you like to hang out sometime?

I was super excited when I got that message. I immediately replied back.
Sure! What would you like to do?

Would you like to come over to my place and watch a movie sometime?

That would be great. When?

How about Friday night? Come for 7?

Friday it is. See ya then.

Friday night came and all I wore was a plain brown long sleeve shirt with jeans. I should’ve worn something cuter but I’m no fashionista. It was about a 30 min drive to Kevin’s house. I called when I got into his gated community. Yes, gated community. I was surprised. His parents must be loaded. All these houses were brick and had at least 2 stall garages attached and lots of windows. Kevin talked me through on how to get to his house which was about 3 blocks from the entrance of the community.

I parked along the street and he met me at the end of his driveway. “Hey!” Kevin greeted me.
I couldn’t stop smiling, “Hi.”
I followed him to the front door which was lined with white brick, “I’ll show you around.”
“Thank you.” I replied. I was super nervous. Thank God I didn’t invite him over. My parent’s house doesn’t compare to his. All we have is a typical 4 bedroom tri-level home.
Kevin went on showing me around the main part of the home which consisted of a huge living room, a kitchen and a den room, and an extra room which was converted to an office. Upstairs were the bedrooms and downstairs is where we hung out. It was fixed with a big screen TV and a bar and in the far corner was a little weight lifting area with a treadmill and an elliptical.
On the huge leather couch, we ended up watching Dane Cook and a few comedy movies. We were laughing together and talked about our interests. We were never more than about a foot away from each other. I didn’t leave Kevin’s place until midnight-ish. He walked me to my car and gave me a tight hug. I thought we had a great time, but I felt like something was a little off.

(To be continued)

Current Mood: confused
Thursday, August 15th, 2013
5:55 pm
[capn_flapjack]
Erg
This is probably going to mostly be venting because I know what I have to do already, just don't know how to go about doing it...

Read more...Collapse )
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013
8:19 pm
[knittinggoddess]
Why do you like your mom? (vague discussion of child abuse)
About six months ago, I stopped talking to my mom because she denied abusing me and told me the memories were fake. She has since apologized and really wants to make things better, and I don't really feel any inclination to meet her even partway through counseling and discussion. My dad is pretty hands-off, not pushing me to communicate with her, but occasionally requesting that maybe, if I felt like it, mom would appreciate a call. My sister thinks I'm "rebelling" and should be more zen about all this. She keeps sending me links to articles like "8 ways to be a better person." I don't hold this patronizing bs against her; she's a very earnest 22 and is going through some self-discovery to manage her anxiety and other neuro things.

Anyway. It's been so relaxing not worrying what mom might say to me next that I really don't feel inclined to try to bridge the gap between us. I don't even know why I'd want to, other than "mom's feeling sad" and "to be a better person."

So I want to know: What are moms good for? Why do you like yours? What does a healthy relationship with a mom look like?
Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
10:42 am
[csandiegooo]
From the end of March through Mid-May I had a fling with a man. Very intense and passionate. Around May 20th, I left and came back to my home country (where I will be for the forseeable future). Even after I left for the first few days he continued correspondence via Facebook. I didn't respond to any of these until finally I told him I was going to write him a letter.

So, I wrote him a letter, and in it I explicitly stated I wanted to see him again as soon as possible. That I couldn't stop thinking about him. To let me know if he feels the same way. I sent it from New York City on June 3rd, to Rome, Italy. Italy is notorious for having an incredibly slow/mixed-up postal system, but I figured since he lives in a major city that could help.

Still, I haven't yet heard anything back from him and I am worried.

How long should I give this until I contact him via Facebook asking if he got the letter? And when I do contact him, what should I say? I know it seems simple such as "did you get my letter?" but since I am essentially asking him to be in a long distance relationship with me, it's a sort of delicate situation. If he has received my letter, I don't want to make him feel pressured into responding, and if he hasn't received it, then I have just wasted this month of time and risked hurting him by not delivering...with the added bonus of my romantic gesture looking completely stupid but asking him about a letter via a much more effective means of communication.

I know this all seems a little contrived, but I am genuinely worried and hope you understand my confusion about what step to take!
Friday, June 21st, 2013
5:21 pm
[deiscordia]
Sunday, June 16th, 2013
3:58 pm
[cuntastrophy]
Sexual Problems :(
I am on the brink of tears reading this. I feel so conflicted right now..

My situation is a little more complicated because it requires more trust. My bf and I live about 2k miles apart...

I just came back from visiting him, and while he thought I was sleeping, I caught him looking at amateur photos - mainly girls buttholes and vaginas, etc.

I was SOOOO rattled when I found out, that I had to say something immediately, but I tried to be understanding. I GET 100% that guys are visually aroused, I am a sexual person - but no girl has been able to get him off. I tried to be open to this idea of him getting off to other girls in hopes that it would benefit or help our relationship. I am now heart broken, jealous and completely unhappy - and even if it makes him happy for a bit, I end up totally ridiculing him, even though he says I'm not "psycho" or crazy for feeling the way that I do.

But I don't understand it, I nor any other girl ( to my knowledge ) can get him off, I have twice once with a BJ once with a HJ - but with how infrequently we see each other, do I let this go or what the Hell!! He told me he only does this once or twice a week - everyone I know who I said that too immediately called BS on it, but i asked him seriously, sternly, if this was true and he said yes it was... He says he mostly see's me, or gets off to me, but it was an ALL DAY EXCESSIVE jack off spree when I was there and when I would OK it. It was borderline addictive, and worried me if he was being honest or not.. I also learned that this may include why he has issues of getting off. He will "build it up", J.O for about 20 - 45 min, then stop and then do it again later, all day. It actually really disgusts me, I love him but this crushes me immensely. PLEASE help. I never go to websites.

I need some actual, intellectual responses.. I feel like when I talk to him he doesn't deny or get hostile, but I feel like he walks around on egg shells around me. I ask him if I make him feel that way, and he says "sometimes". I don't know how to fix it, I try to be as collected and RATIONAL as possible but I feel like Im talking to a wall. FFS.

Some people say this is normal, other people don't. My issue is being so FAR AWAY do I "sit" and wait for this to get better, should I fully believe him? How can I curb my jealousy? I feel like I can't even compete.. His first excuse was that he had NO photos of that like me, which is completely bs, I opened a folder he had on his comp of photos of me like that, and he just stared at me and tried to be a little cute with me. We don't have serious convos, when it turns serious he tries to get cute or lovey or light hearted to end it.
Monday, May 6th, 2013
6:14 am
[ar_moss2005]
It's to early
I have been awake almost all night long with so many things running thru my mind that I couldn't turn it off. I had a job interview last week that I think went really well and I am just waiting to hear back on that. I have followed up and it looks good. I have a GI series that I have to this week that I am not looking forward to, actually it scares me.
Thursday, February 14th, 2013
5:29 pm
[capn_flapjack]
I hate this day...
I just need a safe space to vent for a minute...

But seriously, why, why, WHY do people care so much about Valentine's Day?? Long story short, so my boyfriend and I were broken up for awhile, we've been back together since late November, however, I've only just started telling people who aren't my close friends or family, so as far as most people think, we've only been back together for a couple weeks. We used to live together, now we don't. People gave me SO MUCH shit today because we aren't spending Valentine's Day together. I went over his place last night, we made dinner together, we exchanged boxes of chocolates, and I spent the night with him but this is apparently good enough for NO ONE.

I don't get it. I feel like on Valentine's Day, if a couple doesn't want to go out, people tell the girl "Oh, he's not good enough, he doesn't treat you right" and if they do want to go out, people tell the guy "Wow, you're so whipped, can't believe she makes you buy into all that." And then people wonder why so many relationships are confusing. It's so stupid, why can't people just stay out of each other's business?? I seriously hate this day so much. I'm sorry for venting but I just got home from work, and I just feel completely miserable now. People's comments just reopened all my insecurities that I worked so hard to overcome since we've been back together. One person even went so far to say "Are you sure he's not spending the night with someone else?" which I have no clue where that came from because he's never cheated on me.

This is why I didn't tell anyone we were back together for so long because I knew there was gonna be stupid comments like this. It doesn't help that my friend who I asked for advice for in a previous post STILL isn't speaking to me and just keeps posting on Facebook how super awesome, and cute her dead beat boyfriend is, and it's frustrating because it seems like she's lying, and I miss her, and I hate him for what he did.

Ugh, I just...I don't know. I just want this stupid made up holiday to be over.

Edited just to say: Since I know people are going to ask me why we broke up, it wasn't over anything major. He was unhappy with his life in general, and didn't think he could make me happy, and I was tired of dealing with his moodiness; he'd had a really bad job at the time that affected his mood a lot. These are things that we've addressed many times since getting back together, and he has a new job now that gives him the challenge and ability to use his brain that his last job didn't provide, and it's a healthier (mentally) work environment. Obviously when we broke up I was angry, and hurt, so now I guess everyone thinks he's the devil because of that. I know I shouldn't let what people say get to me so much, but it was so constant today that I couldn't help it.

Current Mood: ragey
Saturday, February 2nd, 2013
12:36 pm
[capn_flapjack]
I don't want to lose my friend...
Long story short, my best friend's boyfriend texted me last week telling me he likes me, that I'm pretty and just stuff that you don't text your girlfriend's friends. I told him I'm in love with my boyfriend and he needed to stop texting me NOW. My friend is very much aware of the situation, and implied that she was going to leave him (I guess he had been saying stuff about me to her for awhile now and this was the last straw). I just saw on FB she posted a picture of a gift he gave her and she's staying at his place in NY. I feel like she's been avoiding me for the past week and I think this is why.

I had told her that he made me uncomfortable, not only for texting me all that stuff, but also because he's been arrested and is on probation for soliciting a minor (she told me this after he texted me). I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my friend, but it looks like she's staying with him, and I feel like she's just going to avoid me now. This really sucks :/ Anyone been in this situation before? How did you handle it? Should I just let it go and accept the fact that I may have lost one of my closest friends over this? I'm really hurt by the whole thing, and I'm royally pissed at him for creating this mess.

Just a quick edit: If anyone is wondering what I mean by she's been avoiding me for the past week (well...week and a half really) we usually get together for drinks once a week, but she canceled this week, and I invited her to a game night I was throwing at my place and she told me she was working even though she never works nights, and the last time I texted her she didn't respond at all.
Friday, February 1st, 2013
1:38 am
[ninimoon]
Help me mend my relationship
I'll try to make this short and sweet. This month has been hellish for me. I've been miserable and have had up to ten panic attacks. School sucked and life sucked even more. Now, all through this my boyfriend has been very supportive and helpful while I've been a mess (sometimes a mean mess)... Today we had a stupid stupid fight which turned huge over.. Salad. I was mad and hurt. It wasn't until I spoke to a mutual friend that I realized how neglected my boyfriend felt during this time and how true it was. To be honest I had not stopped to consider him almost at all sine January 15th! I was so concerned with school and medical issues I neglected HIM. We live together and he studies and goes to school too... I haven't been helping much around the house and having been considering HIS trials. Needless to say I feel horrible now that I am award of how my stress has made me act :(. Thing is I don't know where to start or how to mend this? I already plan to apologize and start helping at home more but I want to somehow make up for this shitty month. Any ideas?
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